Short, Funny Stories
by opps12323456
Summary: Basically exactly what the title says. Enjoy! Chapter 2 is up!
1. Flying Cows

Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the story.  
  
Chapter 1: Flying Cows  
  
It was an ordinary day, when nothing could go wrong...  
  
Bowser: (whispering) Hehehehe...She'll never know what hit her.  
  
DK: (also whispering) Yea, especially because we put on those Extremely Sneaky Bunny Slippers of Dr. Mario's when we switched the shampoo.  
  
A piercing scream cut the silence. Everyone in the Smash Mansion rushed to the bathroom to see what was going on.  
  
Peach (with white stuff in her hair): Someone replaced my shampoo with cream!  
  
Mario: If I a-ever find out-a who did that to-a my beloved Peachy, I'll...  
  
DK and Bowser were also in the bathroom and trying very hard not to burst out laughing. They were both turning red from suppressing their giggles.  
  
Link: (thinking) Something is wrong....hmmm...and those two certainly look suspicious.  
  
Dr. Mario's bedroom  
  
Dr. Mario: Hey, who took my cute, sneaky bunny slippers?  
  
Meanwhile in DK and Bowser's room...  
  
DK: Bowser did you steal Cuddles, my teddy bear?!?  
  
Bowser: Of course I didn't...(cough) (cough)  
  
DK: (already forgot about Cuddles) Do you need an inhaler?  
  
Bowser: (voice dripping with sarcasm) Donkey Kong, you're _so_ smart!  
  
DK: (with tears in his eyes) You actually mean that! Thank you! You're my best buddy- (falls asleep suddenly and starts snoring extremely loudly)  
  
Bowser: Hehehe.....Those sleeping pills work every time.  
  
Next Morning  
  
Bowser: Soooo, whaddya wanna do today?  
  
DK: Let me see...eat hotdogs, pizza, ice cream, more hotdogs, a couple more pizza pies...  
  
Bowser: (shaking his head in disgust) I don't know why I even bother...  
  
DK: Oh, I know! Lets make cows fly!  
  
Bowser: Of all the stupid things you could say... Hey wait, that is a good idea.....  
  
1 hour later  
  
Bowser: Well, we have the cows, and all we need to do is make them fly.  
  
DK: Let's raid Dr. Mario's lab!  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Mewtwo: Have you Smashers seen Bowser or DK...  
  
Back in Dr. Mario's lab....

DK: Will this do? (Reads label) "Laxative Acid: Very Good for Digestion"

Bowser: Errr...I don't think so...

DK: Ok then, how about this? "Great for Making Cows Fly"

Bowser: ...... -.-'

What Bowser and DK don't notice is a very small WARNING label that got rubbed away. It would've said, "Warning: After a 180 minutes of use, this liquid will make the user have a major urge to go to the bathroom."

On a field next to the Smash Mansion...

Bowser: It's alive!-Errr..I mean, It's a flying cow!

DK got so excited that he got into a glider and soared along with the flying cows.

DK: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ME!

Bowser: O.O

(3 hours later)

Cow: MOOOOOOO!!!!!

Phhhhhffffffffffftttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!

Without being too descriptive, a huge mound of brown STUFF (that's how I'll refer to it) fell out of the sky and landed right next to Bowser.

Bowser: (fainted from the smell) X.X

DK: Yum!! Chocolate pudding! Yippee!!

DK dives into mound of STUFF and faints too. When all the other Smashers come to investigate the source of an unwanted smell, Dr. Mario has an invention that will get rid of it.

Dr. Mario: With my newest invention, the Super Kleaner 5000, it will be shortly before the STUFF is gone.

Everyone: :)

Dr. Mario: This invention was much better than my old Super Kleaner 1000! That took 7,283 hours just to clean up a room. Now, it will take the Super Kleaner 5000 only 185 hours to clean this up!!!

Everyone else just does an anime-style fall, which cause them severe headaches. Ouch!

Review please, and NO FLAMES!


	2. Midget Smashers

Author's note: I want to thank my faithful reviewers, so thank you!

Discalimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story.

Chapter 2: Midget Smashers

After the "flying cow" incident, Bowser and DK were put under strict watch....

Bowser: Can't I even go to the bathroom unwatched?

Link: Who said you were being watched?

Bowser: You.... -.-'

Link: Oh.....

While Link is standing in the middle of the hallway pondering this, Bowser sneaks into the bathroom.

Bowser: (in an obsessed voice) Must do something evil....I must....... Oooo, a toilet. Hehehehe...

Meanwhile...

DK is surrounded by a psychic barrier that Mewtwo and Ness are keeping up. DK starts pounding the barrier with his fists, but to no avail.

DK: Noooo! My tiny..err...I mean, big, muscles can't get me out of this.

At the bathroom, Gannondorf is sitting on the toilet, whistling and reading a newspaper. When he casually reaches for the flush handle, he finds that the toilet has been blocked.

Gannondorf: $#%&

Back to DK's "prison"...

Bowser sneaks behind some bushes and immediately takes in the situation. He grabs a banana from a tree and chucks it just outside of the prison.

DK: MUST HAVE BANANA!!!!!!!

Ness: Where did that banana come from?!

The distraction of Mewtwo and Ness, combined with DK's lust for bananas, broke the barrier. The explosion of psychic powers knocked Mewtwo and Ness out X.X.

Boswer: (to DK) We must get our revenge for them locking us up!! Are you with me DK?

DK: Can I finish my banana first? Please?

Bowser: (slaps himself) Please tell me that I'm dreaming.

DK: Fine, I'll tell you. (in a mysterious voice) You are dreaming.

Bowser: (ignoring that remark) Let's poison them with one of Dr. Mario's potions.

Without waiting for a comment, Bowser pulls DK with him to Dr. Mario's labratory.

Dr. Mario's Lab

DK: How about laxative acid?

Bowser: Nah, we have to be original. Hey, let's take this. It says "Shrinking Potion: Guaranteed to Make User a Midget".

They hoard at least 30 bottles of the stuff. They packed up the bottles and were about to leave.....

DK: (feeling kind of bad for stealing the potions) Shouldn't we pay Dr. Mario? I mean, we took 30 bottles.

Bowser: Fine then. (puts a nickel on the counter)

DK: What?!? That little?

Bowser: Oh yea. (replaces nickel with penny)

DK: I give up.....

At Nighttime

Bowser and DK already slipped the shrinking potions in the Smasher's sodas.

Bowser: I propose a cheer to all that we consider wrong, I mean, right and to good fortune for all.

Everyone looks at him strangely, but still knocks their sodas together. Once DK finishes his can of soda, he is still so thirsty that he drinks one of the infected cans.

Bowser: No, don't do that you dimwit...(kicks DK from under the table)

Zelda: Do what?

Bowser: Errr, nothing. Just nothing....

Within ten minutes, all the Smashers, except Bowser, but including DK, have shrunk into pint-sized midgets.(AN: Kind of like using Lightning on people in Mario Kart 64)

Yoshi: (unhappily) Hey, what happpened to me?!?!

Jigglypuff: (also unhappily) Hey look at me, anybody could easily mistake me for a balloon.

Bowser (still big): Oooo, a fluffly pink balloon, I have never seen one of these before.(blows Jigglypuff full of air ties a string to her feet.

Jigglypuff: (very disgruntled) See what I mean?

Nana: This has to be the work of Bowser and DK.

Everyone who was shrunk (including DK -.-'): Grrrrrrr.......

Roy: I'm going to slice you up into itty-bitty pieces. (tries to pick up a gigantic sword, but fails miserably) Nevermind.....

Fox: (squeaking) I'm gonna beat you up- (stops suddenly because he realizes that Bowser is gigantic compared to him)

Fox compromises by beating up DK, who is the same size as him now.

DK: X.X

Bowser: Achooo! I need to wipe my nose. (picks up a tiny 2-D Mr. Game and Watch) This is very convenient.

Mr. Game and Watch: X.X (AN: Strangely, a lot of people are getting knocked out in this chapter)

Falco: Stop torturing us!

Bowser: Fine! (evil smile spreads across his face) Body slam!

Bowser body slams everyone (including DK) and smushes them flat (even though Mr. Game and Watch is already flat). But then everyone pops back into their original size before they drank the potion. (AN: Also like in Mario Kart 64, when the giant egg crushes you, you become flat, then you pop back)

Bowser: Awww...I was just getting started...

Everyone else shudders, thinking about the possibilities that could have happened to them.

Peach: (angrily and while slapping Bowser and DK) You guys have got some explaining to do.....

DK: Uhhh...How about we end this chapter now, before we get beat up, and let the reader imagine what happens to us....

Smashers who got shrunk (except for DK): No way!

Everyone joins in on a pileup on DK and Bowser.

Status of DK after pileup: X.X

Status of Bowser after pileup: X.X

Status of everyone else: Happy, satisfied, =)

Continue reviewing please, and NO FLAMES!


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